i dun know why the pic did not appear... here's the pic... 

my new phone... Ngage QD... bought it for $250... comes with 256MB MMC card... Fifa 2005 and Splinter Cell... 2 months old... warranty till may next year... not too bad a deal... had the MP3 sofware installed... but i accidentally deleted it.. fuctup occasion... now i have many songs but no MP3 software to play it... and worse still, i dont know where to download the sofware.. fuck..  

my new post...

hello bloggie... i had been a bad boy lately... i have been getting angry all the time.. i do not know why i get angr so easily... but i think my friends are even angrier ppl than me.. haha.. i guess i gave them much of my angst...

the first week of school was ok ok... i had to get used to having my girl in school.. cos we've never been in the same school b4... no problems about seeing her everyday... just trying to set aside time for her and also my friends... i do not want to be thise type of ppl where their girlfriend is in school and then they abandoned their friends... but i also want my girlfriend to feel that she comes first... hmmm... let me work this out with her..

Fuctup.. the whole week was just wasted like that... i was so not in study mood.. and kinematics was fucking tough... what degree of freedom shit.. and i had not gone to a single maths lecture yet... and thermodynamics look fucking menacing.. bloody hell.. and i feel so unsettled... well at least i enjoyed the lab so much...

the rest of my lab group was great.. Thiru the poly mamak, sam and robin the gung-ho cinas and me and fahmi the factory matz.... hahah... imagine your lab is dismantling the gearbox... i felt so fun doing it.. hands dirty with oil... allen keys, shafts, ball bearings, mallets, screw driver, plier... wow... finally, i feel like an ENGINEER... yeah...

i was elected pres... i was happy cos i think it is a prestigious post... it will look good in my resume.. but that is not the main issue here.. im feeling all scared.. i've never taken such a high leadership post.. now i have everyone to lead and no one to follow.. i dun know.. im afraid that i might change...

i am the all vulgar fighter who comes training diligently to train hard and let go all my angst... but now... i have responsibilities on my shoulders... i have fighters to lead.. i have reputation to uphold.. i have to set a good example... i am afraid that all these may change me from the ridzwan that evryone remembers to a ridzwan that is someone else...

i dont know.. i am, however, honoured that they had chosen me... that they feel i am the rightest person for the post.. i have so many thoughts in my head now.. so much fear but just as much aspiration too.. i wanna lead the team to more medals next year IVP... i wanna the proud pres that leads our team to greater heights.. i wanna see my team grow into a fitter and fiercer team.. only time will tell how my term will be... oh GOD pls help me out...

i had a talk with my cuz, imran... he lost his brother suddenly.. a bike accident... and he talked about it.. i felt for him.. one day, he was there with his uncle claiming the body of his brother.. one week later, he's at the same mortuary, claiming the same uncle who was there with him the week before... then we talked about how it feels to lose someone so unexpectedly...

i cannot imagine if my parents pass away so suddenly... i will be so ill prepared.. emotionally and logistically... i will feel so lost... to contact all my relative and inform them of the bad news... to call the undertaker.. to setlle the death cert... to clean the body... to witness the burial.. to hold the prayers... and on top of that, all the emotions and memories will be overwhelming me.. i will be so soft... and yet i have to put up a hard front... i will always remember them in my prayers..

I'm fucking Pissed...

fucking hell!!!... i had just missed the audition for the module that i had wanted to take... the audition was today and i was convince by the rest that it is 2moro... cos today is flag-day... there is no class on flag day!!!... fucking hell... im fucking disapointed at myself... how could i make such a mistake... damn fucking pissed... now i only have 20 AU... bloody hell...

the recruitment fair yesterday was bad... the performance was peppered with blunders... farah's bengkong fell off.. i forgot a step... and i feel so had that i had leceration on my chin... i think we could have made the table more attractive... thank you Adlina for printing the pictures... it was a great addition... i felt better yesterday than the day before.. cos i was all fucking cranky and hungry and tired on monday... plus that fucking macdonald's fucker tried to be funny with my girl... and he forgot my fries in the process... you'll get it from me, fucking indo...

me and alfonso did some stoopid dare yesterday... there was the alll memorable milo van in school.. we were so reminded of cross country at macritchie... khekhekhe... but that time, evryone had a certain number of cups that he can drink... NOW, its different... we could drink all we can... and so we drank and drank... khekheke... like some fucking drunk bastards... we DRANK & CUPS STRAIGHT.... hekhehe.... nice.. we had so much milo that we had to shit the moment it settled down... khekhekhe... and we had hangover the whole day... hekheke...

i got my new phone yesterday... $250 for a 2 month old engage with 256 mmc card... not too bad an offer... but i was so clueless about this phone... so i deleted everything in the memory card and store dsongs in it... then i fucking find out that i had also deleted the MP3 PLayer software as well... another fucking blunder... bloody hell again... now, i have many songs but cannot play... well at least i had won a couple of games on FIFA 2005 on the phone... i've always wanted this phone... but i need to get used to it first...

I woke up at 8am today... my dad told me to wake up and study... khekhkeh... i reminds me of JC times... my dad still cares about my academics... Thankfully, i appreciate his nagging... khekhe... i slept again... wok up at 11am.. to have bread with nutella... slept again.. woke up at 1pm to eat some chicken teriyaki nuggets... sleep again... then wake up at 3pm... tembamz called... what a fucking sleep day for me... i going to be a baabi soon man...

i've observed something... i appears that evryone had become more angry than me... but i thought i was the original angry person... everyone feels like throwing things, kicking and punching... or is it maybe that ii am less agressive now... i dont know... tembamz wanted to hit me on monday... adlina wanted to throw my ezlink card when she saw my pic on it... alfian gave fake tantrums... farah calls ppl stoopid... ilyas brands ppl DOL sometimes... what the hell!!!

i hope my already vulgar clique do not get all angry and all... khekhek... whatever lah... i dun give too much of a fuck about this.. just chill guys...

still havent bathed since last night... had not brushed my teeth too... khekhe... will do it soon...

finally... i have the energy to blog...

fuctup... life lately had been so busy... that i felt as though im such a busy man... khekhe... whatever lah... but what im trying to convey here is that i've been fucking busy lately... and also in a very vulgar mood too... as usual...

ok ok.. so, now i've reached a higher stage of blogging... i can no longer just regugitate ( i think thats how its spelt) whatever happened during my day... cos that like some weaklings "dear Diary" fuck.. instead now, i wanna include ideas... like what i feel about the Police driving the WRX (Unfair)... and how affordable it is for me to either stay in a hostel or drive to school... anything to that extend lah...

cos now i will be busy with school... and school will occupy, 5 days of a week... thats like, let me calculate with the calculator now.... an astonishing 71.43% of my life... and it will take up 90% of my life soon when the exams are in a month's time... fuck... but what the heck... i miss studying... and to think about it, i only have 3 more years to fucking enjoy my life as a studying adult.... after that i will be a working adult... i must wreak havoc... as much as possible...

so when i look back into my past, i feel happy that i had done such crude things that only a youngster can do... like, smoking plain paper with seaweed and some tiger balm in it... ( hahah... that was some good shit... really made us tear in the eyes... and Alfonso still thinks its really weed that we were doing... khekhe... poor alfonso )

3 more years to be a full blown student... oh man... i must reach student maturity soon... if not, it will be too late!!! fffffffuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk..... khekhekhke

the swensen's dinner on friday was great... i ate the mouth watering topless 5 again... khkehkhe... and on saturday, i drove my mum and sis around town... fetched lutfi from school... i feel so like an uncle... fuck man... fetching him from school... all the other parents were looking at me like they are so suprised... like they cant believe there would be such a young parent sending his child to a play school at the esplanade... fuck lah... its my niece... NOT MY SON...

that night, i had a kenduri arwah for the late Tok Mat...

yesterday was the kenduri arwah for arwah Atok... 100 days... i was so tired cos we were very busy... thankfully, i had brought up and guided my younger cousins the duties of such an event... now i merely supervises and do some duties myself... like carrying the furniture, laying the carpes, vacuuming, mopping, making the drinks, entertaining the guests... all that... i learned it the hard way... by being scolded by the others... hahaha... now i scold the youngsters... let them learn the hard way too... kikiki...

anyway, another relative passed away yesterday... my father's cousin... and our family was clse to theirs... so sad... he was only 57.. and ex-marine police... so many ampai in my family... well i went to the cemetery today... for the burial.. evrything was so sad..his two sons and son in law was doing the burying ritual... i felt so ill prepared should any one of my parents pass away so abruptly... now, its just a matter of time before another one of us passes away... whether we want it or not... or when we're ready or not... life has to go on... may his soul rest in peace...

and may i fulfill what my father had requested on his death.... to lead the last prayer...

weird dreams...

i had such a weird dream last night... maybe it was the moment of esctasy that i enjoy b4 i fell asleep.. khekhekhe... you know i know lah eh...

i dreamt that my 17yr old cousin raihan had gotten a vespa for himself... how fortunate of him.. and its so nice and pretty... cream coloured and with white wall tyres and a metal frame in front of the bike... damn it... i was so jealous that he had a vespa and i didnt.. well that was just a dream right...

one more weird dream.. uji had told me that the kuntao class was really gaining momentum... there are now more response... and i was thinking about how i am to take over that lesson... my cousins are dying to go for training again.. but i have so much commoitments now... how to divide more of my time... haiyah... anway, i dreamt that the class was so huge that it had rows upon rows of pesilatz... wow... i was so happy... then i woke up... khekhek... crap dream...

i was with tembamz last night... at bugis market, for her shopping trip again... khekhee... she's always on shopping trips... but its ok, i owe her a shopping trip anyway... the place is really not as hot as it was previously... in fact some parts of it has aircon now... so welcoming now... khekhe... i saw so many things that i liked there... but too bad, i need a phone more than new clothes.. whatever lah eh...

i think im geting thinner... if not more toned.. i dun know if its this milkshake thing that i've been drinking lately... or is it really just physcology... i dun know... whatever lah... continue drinking it cos i really like the taste... yum yum.. banana soya bean shake.. so best...

i was really in a mood to whack someone's brains out yesterday... i was surrounded by all the yuppies of tampines... fucking hell, they are giving me the stares... just who the fuck do they think they are... to go around and staring at ppl... think i give a fuck about these young pricks out to prove themselves... bloody fuckers... sial nye budak!!!

however, no yp was unfortunate enough to be whacked... fuck them... fuck all of them.. for trying to potray the image that the are all adults and can take care of themselves... go and learn to earn your fucking school allowance... fucking pricks...

What a day i had!!!

brilliant day... simply brilliant... i feel so happy.... so fucking happy.. totally... haha.. fuck the crap...

the day started of with the usual 0530 morning run with Ashri bear... haha... we are so slack now.. he's convo is over and my IPPT is over too.. so no pressure now... so we didnt run too fast.. in fact we only did a very slow jog for the 1st round and walked the entire 2nd round... we didnt even bother to do a 3rd round... haha.. fucking slacking... but we did have a good talk... must enjoy time b4 school starts... haha.. and my fucking legs are still aching from the training on saturday... fuck.. feels so tight.. the thighs.. must be the fucking duck walks and frog jumps... haha... the rigours of a fighter...

i drove today... drove my dad to work and then speeded off to Sims Drive...
my nenek's house.. to get some mats and stuffs... got a kenduri arwah this sunday... in rememberance of the 100th day of the passing away of my grandfather... Al-fatiha...

then headed home to get my sleep again... haha... such wonder ful sleep.. i felt so fresh.. and the weather was really fantastic.. the rain makes my fan perform like a samsung airconditioner... khekhe... woke up.. bathed again... then had my speeding trip to tampines... to pick up tembamz.. hahha... i knew the way there.. but i just cant fucking find the school entrance... haha.. the rain gives me additional thrill on top of speeding... YAHOO... i love driving...

driving with the 2 front windows down.. blasting reggae music.. and singing alone on top of my lungs while going 120 on TPE... the feeling is something short of orgasmistic... khekhee... i love it... ( but i dun blast the music when i stop the car, cos that would be so inconsiderate... i'm not a fucking ah beng ok... its all about peace marn )... kehkehkee

we ate at arab street's zam zam singapore.. a large murtabak, 1 roti telur and 2 teh tarik.. wow.. my much desired food since yesterday's lonely escapade at home... khekhe... but we smelt of murtabak the whole day... khekhe...

then the cardigan buying trip... at far east... tembamz bought 2 cardis.. and i bought a blazer... khekheke.. at 45% off... from U2... felt so happy.....

the time we spent at east coast was really what we wanted... haha... and the tent helped alot (*winks* as a place to put our belongings lah)... i love her so much... very much...

then is back to speeding the car to tam-pines... so fun... khekheke....

going to sleep soon... going school 2moro.. for silat shit and training..

Such a lonely day...

i'm feeling so lonely now...

i spent the last fucking 2.5 hours watching TV... and fuck.. there's really no fucking show that can interest me for today... i was looking for some good emotional hindi movies... but, there were only tamil ones... didnt like those...

i was in no mood to chat either... my family was out to the beach.. i didnt follow cos i wanted to stay home and sleep.. get my much needed beauty sleep... but fuck, I JUST CANT SLEEP... whats with me?.. fucking hell...

the shit on the tube can be really fuctup... there was some engineering fuck on NGC... not too bad... some hostage situation on Discovery channel... i liked that one... and the ultimate fuctup show will be "50 records in 50 years"... what the Fuck?!.... there's the record for the heaviest load carried by a beard... 62kg.. and most number of fire eaters... 70 fire eaters at stonehedge... and the highest flame by a fire eater... 4.2m... fuck... what with these ppl... i mean, with all due respect for their INCREDIBLE achievements... but dot you think whats on the TUBE is just fucking shit!!!

i called my best friend, Ah Butt... he's down with cough.. and complained that one pill of antibiotic cost him $3... poor hom... police really makes him smoke his life away... i need to talk some sense into him.. my other best friends are doing just ok..

got nothing to do not but just look out my window... haha... the neighbours on my opp block can be so fun to look at... children running around the house... ppl watching the tube.. smokers at the balcony... the distant woman changing in the bedroom (cant see much)... the nice blue curtains.. the slanted window grills... the black comfy couch of my level 4 neighbour... haha... such details that i can see from this bedroom window of mine...

so excited to meet tembamz 2moro...

so bored.. so fucking bored... maybe i'll go miniclip.com and achieve a new record for heliattack2.. my record now is 52 helicopters...

or maybe i should continue watching the dvd in my booger wooger (cruel intentions 2)... watched it halfway till about the 23rd min... whatever right...

so in a lonely mood...

Dad's candid moment...

today, i saw my dad as how i see myself... the news was showing some Gloria estifan Phillipines cum cindy crawford mole shit... it was a demonstration... some people power thing again that the filipinos are so proud of... they really like ousting their president dont they???... hahaha... let the fuckers deal with them.. yah, back to the news... so, the next clip was some old man at a press conference... i think he's the on likely to take over "cindy mole crawford"... then my dad stood up from the couch...

"Kau pun sama jugak!!" he exclaimed in disgust...
(translation in Singlish: you also the same lah!!)

then he left the living roon in search of keropok(Crackers)... hehehehe... what a funny thing... I would have done the same thing too... now i know i'm following my dads footsteps... its just a natural process... khekheke... so all this thing about me is just in my blood... khekheke... whatever...

back to my story...

went for silat yesterday... and fuck, was i fucking suprised that i was the only one.. the rest was all from cekak... fucking hell.. it was a fucking good training... i did duckwalks, frog jumps, lots of running, kicks... and all that shits... khekhe... fun... and now my whole fucking body is all aching... hahaha... but its part of getting better.. im going to continue training with them... cos i'll get better.. khekheke...

i ate my weekly kerang rebus at bedok corner again... as usual... though tembamz will always disagree... she said cockles should be taken 3 times a year only... oh pls... you think i believe that crap... khekhehek... sorry dear... i'll go with my cravings here...

so today i had tuition... im beginning to feel satisfied.. teaching these kids and knowing that they're better now makes me feel so happy... all that effort from me is paying off... now i know how to deal with them... and i hope they're performing well in sch too... but today, i didnt get to drive at 110km/hr at farrer and adam road... no fun... cos my parents are in the car... only manage a mmeasly 80km/h.. so sian.. no thrill at all... some high revving moments was all that i had to be contented with... haiyah...

now im going to sleep.. must get ready for 2moro... got a shopping trip to prepare mentally and physically for... and a good time after that... khekhek... (Practising self restraint)

27 Fucking secs to Gold.... (IPPT)

fuck... fuck... fuck... bloody fucking fuck...
I'm so fucking pissed man.... i was so close but just so fucking far....
These are my results... (as memory)

1. Shuttle Run 10.1secs
2. Broad Jump 234cm
3. Pull Ups 11
4. Sit ups 40
5. 2.4km 10.12mins....

so, everything was great for the GOLD... my first gold(i thought)... but no... when i started running, the fucking weather was so fucking hot... and all i could manage was a slow 10.12min... fucking hell... i was so happy that i could jump that far and did that many pull ups... but then, the run had to fucking pull me back to reality and tell me straight in the face that im not fit enuff... fucking run...

ok.. so i got fucking pissed.. and had a long cold shower after that... it cooled me down alot... and i headed for the mosque at 1210pm... it early but i thought i could used that time to gain spiritual enlightenment and repent... i gave my dad a good and warm hug there.. cos i realised how important my parents are to me.. and dad played such a big part in shaping my education landscape...

and so i meet Tembamz... at Swensens... so best... Garlic Pita, Fish&chips and Topless 5... yum yum... what a deserving devilish meal after all these hardships of the competition and IPPT... THank you Girlfriend... a thousand points for you... with much love...

the "chi-ko-pek" fucker was really freaky... trying to peep at us.. bloody hell.. i had to shout an OI! then he went off... fucker.. made tembamz so scared only..

hahkakhak... the $$$ is not in yet... from my MArksman and silver IPPT... but i've already bought a bag worth $35... hehe... just cant resist it... it looks so nice... and i was just perfect for my silat days... big and sporty... something that i want...

I really need a fucking phone... still looking around... any suggestions?

been reflecting on my 2B license... can forget it... i think i'll stay hostel.. for the rest of the 3 years... i'll just be a fucking NERD...

I told them to give me their most DISGUSTING pic... and this was what they come out with... not too bad... khekhkehe... if only their lesbian pics had turned out right... too bad the pic was too dark.. no porn for now guys.... hehkeheh 

OUr group foto... Nice time together guys... And we are still the B24 group that we once were... the one in the pool is alvin... The "hard and hot" guy.... khekheke...  

and yes... the pic of thePEOPLE OF THE LEDGE... cos the four of us were sitting on the ledge... this pic comprises of: (from left) Benedict the swiss summer guy, Lyndon the oi! fake poser and Daniel the new rider with many death encounters.... khekke... of cos the other LEDGe person was me... 

The BBQ we had to day at Lorong Ong Lye... CAsa ROsa... Nice place and we made so much noise... had so much fun laughing together and at each other... i really enjoyed myself... 

i took this picture today... its kind of look like a section of LoRD OF THE RING... cos there is dark clouds around the top of the Towers... haha.. they're fucking HDB block, balls.... 

yeah...... my true "cheeky" smile... proud of this one... Reny is so Kapo behind me...  

i think this picture is nice... finally, i look good smiling(i think)... the merlion does not make a good backdrop though... cute girl next to me... taken on 10th july 2005 

The crazy bunch of girls that we guys follow around and be they're cameraman slaves... hahah... taken at the esplanade bridge..i told them to pose as though there are looking into the future...  

the Gilera Runner 200cc 

Since my Class 2B license is light years away, let this be a memory of the bike that i wanted to buy once i get my 2B... haiyah... bye bye bike... 

It might rain even if its the middle of the day...

i was running today with Ashri Bear... the best timing so far.... 7.05mins for the hilly 1.7km route... and we were talking about how i can get my license... my all wanting 2b license that i will use for transport to and fro school... but something happened...

i was told that my cousin Ibrahim had died from a bike accident... he was riding along PIE at 2am... off to grab a bite with friends... but he skidded and hit the divider... the mom looked distraught when we visited her just now... it was a sad scene... and the body is still in the mortuary...

just something that i wanna share... a metaphor...

We would usually expect the noon to be the hottest part of the day... but sometimes, it might rain in the noon... and the weather gets real cold..
same goes for life...
My cousin was young, bound for mariage... he's like ready for the prime of his life... but then, an unexpected accident happened causing his death...

i guess the license is now far far away form me... like light years away now... so i might as well forget it man... i just hope that in heaven(which i hope i'll get there), there will be collection of bikes for me to choose from... kekheke.... whatever...

another fuctup time...

my dearest apologies for forgetting what i said... and this is really my sincerest feeling....

sometimes it matters to be absolutely clear in what we say... cos sometimes what we say does not state clearly what our heart once... what we say will be interpreted differently by the person who hears it... cos he literally reads the meanings of the words uttered...

we should really make an effort to say clearly what we want... instead of ambiguous words... cos we know that if he didnt do as we think he might, then we will feel hurt...

its being in a junction of many roads... when all you need is just one light to show the right road... but instead there are many lights showing many roads... and you know that there is only one right road... if youre not careful and take the wrong road, then misunderstandings will happen...

what the fuck...

i had an argument today... i was at fault... cos i did not remember saying a phase... but however, due to this fault of mine, i became stuck in a dilemma... i can neither go right or go left... i do not know what to do...

my plan now is to just go ahead.. and give a suprise... hehe.. i already have something up my sleeve now... maybe that will make things better... i hope...

hi oh hi

haha.... what a weekend... i was so damn fucking tired and all... and i was so dreaming about riding a bike to school.. haiyah... no license and all dreamy about it still... not taht my father allowed me to take the class 2B though... but its a matter of time... i think...

yesterday... i had a good time at clementi town sec sch... teaching of course.. and then making new friends with the fellow tutors... Sharom and Indriana.... these 2 TK tech ppl... i was looking forward to talking with the 2 of them... but then they ended up talking with each other about their TK Tech friends... haiyah... what to do... cant stop ppl who are in the same school rite... but i did have a good time knowing the 2 of them... the tutors at CTSS had no sense of friendship there... haiyah... but i cant with like that... i want to have ppl there that will give each other support in times of need... kehkhekehkhe.....

nevermind... the not so fanciful lunch at Rubiah was ineresting... about kelantan lane clinic... haha... Strawberry taste like cough syrup eh.... khekekhe... i will remember those advises... well i headed home... and got some lecture about spending time with my family by your truly ABG IzzY Kemizzy... but what he said was true... and it started raining and all too.. i so didnte wantto go out and take pictures of the girls... but i already gave my word... i did get some eye shut though...

and i had such atiring time taking their fotos... so tired... and hungry... all the guys were like so no energy and all.... cos we are so hungry.... and i was the one making the most noise... cos a HUNGRY WAN is A CRANKY AND Angry WAN.... khekhekhkehe... its true... and i can change myself.... khekkee...

well we ate at macdonalds boat quay.... and i couldnt even finish my big mac... haiyah... cos got too much wind in my stomach... and i had a tough time burping the air out... fuctup situation... haha... took a taxi home with izzat(who thinks i talk too much) and reny... and i ended up not paying the fare... thanks you izzat!!!... so tired... i sleep and sleep...

but i woke up at 5...for my jog with mr BEar... i think we're both fit now... and we are closer too... we talk quite alot when we jog... we're both scared of the dark parts of the park... and i think we're like wusses when that happens... hkehkee... anyway, when we were done jogging, there was like steam coming off our body... we call ourselves the AKUMA babis... khekhekhe... trash... then i got home at six 40... and bathed and slept till 2pm... khekke... now i feel like a fucking pig.. but what the heck... i deserve all of it...

going to watch my BAd boys 2 now... still downloading gladiator... tata...

haha... we felt that we deserve some attention too.. who say the graduates get all the attention??... haha... even their parents are looking at us... i think we were drunk... khekek 

the girl that i'm so proud of... congrats dear... you've finally made it...  

The guys... The "scoring points" contingent... from left: Apek, Loud-mouth, "the Duwei", "the shamelessly cute guy" and "fittest man on earth"... all our girlfriends are graduating yeah yeah!!! 

We had the nice talk... at Orchard MRT staircase... the place does not matter... but the ideas does... we have our vision to help out our own ppl... in 10 yrs time guys... in 10 yrs time.... 

The day after the Convo...

i have so many thing to tell... lets start with yesterdays convocation...

I went out with Ahmad Gigi and Melati Kembang.... khekhee.... had a great time with them... and we had a good sweat playing table soccer... at lucky plaza... haha... these guys say that i do not change since JC... as in my "ought to be beaten up" attitude... haha.. a good time catching up with them... we talk for about half hour at the orchard mrt staircase... but i must it was quality talk shit man... I guess everyone is achieving something eh... except me.. wel, i'm not going to fight you guys... cos i think i've proven myself now.. melati is on scholarship, getting 900++ bucks per month... ahmad is the student council secretary of SMU... running for president next sem... haiyah... but im happy with my life now... just have alot of angst... thats all... kheheke....

headed for city hall and waited for Mr Late Comer Apek... whose "pengat Durian" breath keeps me disgusted and well amused throughout the trip to clementi... i waited and waied for him... till i got screened by the police there... i must have looked like a fucking crook to them... khekheke... i didnt take an offence though... been screened too many times already... just the aura around me... the suspicious aura... hkehkheke

i reached UCC... and became a full time cameraman for about 2 hours... kherkhekh... not that i mind... gave me the chance to really "score points" with my future in laws.... khekhekhe... and everybody knows which guy has the steadiest hands for photo-taking... khekhekhe... i was so damn tired... from all that flashes and shouting and trying to get everyone to pose... khekhek... they girls are a happy bunch... and i was so proud of tembamz... she'snow a graduate.. and i have 3 more years to go... haiyah... nevermind... i'll make sure i earn more than her... khekheke... what a wicked person....

sadly, after all that "scoring points" session, i went home alone... tired and alone... and so sad some more... it was late... i was tired... and i had no one with me to talk to... haiyah.. everyone was with someone else.. but me, alone... so alone...

i was so tired.. so i reached home and slept....

then today came about... had my tuition in the fucking morning... fuck.. i so couldnt wake up... i was like bargaining with my alarm on what time i'm waking up... khehee.. and you know... the alarm always loses... khekhek... stoopid alarm.... i was moody when i was giving tuition... but after some warming up with the kids, i was up and about.... khekheke....

after tuition, i headed off to JOHOR... haiyah... already do tired and sleepy and now i have to drive to johor???... well as a filial son, i cant complain much right? khekekhek.... there, i broke the news.... i asked my dad whether he agree if i take the 2B license... khekhekhe... it took alot of courage from me... haiyah... but the reaction wasnt as bad... i expected him violently rejecting the idea... but he did talk it out with me... kind of slowly lah... i think he knows he cant stop me for long... he even consulted my mom for her views... not bad... it seems that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. i will ask again next week... khekhe...

and... last but not FUCKING LEAST... I was fucking Stuck in the Fucking jamfor a good fucking 1 hour!!!... my legs are already so tired from all those clutch in and out... and the singapore customs have to keep me humbled in the FAMOUS jam into singapore... haiyah... well, they have a part to play in our home security right... i cant imagine if the London thingy happened in SG.... imagine walking to school... fuck!!! that will take me 3 days.... khekheke... yishun to NTU... a fucking good 3 days brisk walking... khekheke....

aight... my fingers are now tired from all these typing shit... be back by 2moro i assume... with some nice convo pics...

FUCKING phone

fuck fuck fucking fuctup phone!!!!
this fucking phone of mine is so fucking useless now..... it had served me well but lately, its giving me lots of shit... it had given it many chances to redeem himself but NO.... he had disappointed me time and again... its like the phone is going through the puberty stage where we can control it anymore... fucker...

my phone is guilty of preventing me from communicating with others... when ppl call me, they can hear me... or my voice is all cut into pieces... sometimes i cant call out... sometimes i cant even msg out... and its making me all angry... damn bloody FUCKING angry...

it does work sometimes when i subject it to physical pain... fucker... today, i gave me the reason to subject it to the ultimate pissed off treatment... i hit it so hard on my table, that the paint on my table chipped off... and i threw it onto the floor... and i kicked hit hard... fucker...

and suprisingly, it worked... I'm going to press all charges against it... and i hope YOUR HONOUR decides to send it to the gallows.... my patience is running low... FUCKER...

Die you nokia 1100... Die you fucker!!!

Da Vinci Code

Finally... I'm fucking done with Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code... that bloody fucker... he really can write and keep me up all night last night... and i must sy that i ws kind of disappointed with then ending... my many thanks to Mr "Smart Ass who never study but play Games" Syahid for lending me his book... his is the special illustrated version... must heve costed him a bomb to buy it... thanks alot bro... now i feel more knowledgable about Mary Magdelene... hahaha... Christianity and its secrets....

Having taken religion as a module, i must say that i have a different perspective of religion now... even of my own religion... i do not accept things as a Truth... but i see things as a whole and why it is told as the Truth... that does not mean i had lost my faith though... haha... now, religions are view subjectively... just some mechanism that makes me wonder and wonder whether they are true or false....

alright... i feel like going to the library to do some real reading.... been so long since i've been to a real library and borrowed books... all this while it had been the schol library... i need to get some good self help book shit... some book on Islam.. some bools on cars... and maybe some book on photography... just to be knowledgable about things now...

and i think i feel like seeking some spiritual fulfillment today... i'll will do it later... this feelings do not come often... khakhakh....

i'm meeting ahmad gigi 2moro after the friday prayers... maybe i will be eating soto babat again... my second time this week... we want to do some catching up... been so long... then i'll head off to NUS for Tembamz Graduation... so proud of her... and happy to be there with her and witness it... and of course i can also score points for taking all the photos of her with her family... haha... Apek will be there with me...

oh yah... i watched another touching movie... Crazy Beautiful... and fuck... i dont need to elaborate again right.. the usual happened... watch, taouched, cried, movie end... haiyah... been really in taouch with my emotional side lately.... khekheke... every lion has his emotional days right... khekhekh

Another DVD... and yet another tearing session...

I watched Big Daddy today... the one with adam sandler again... i thot it was going to be a damn funny movie.... but it was more about teaching parenting and responsibilities..

fuck... i cried the part when he had to witness the social worker take away the boy that he loved so much... haiyah... that part was so sad... i just cant help but feel sad for the situation... i mean, who want to see a little boy whom you treat as your son, to be taken away by someone else... and that there is nothing you can do to stop it.... haiyah... just so sad...

and the part where his father defended him was so touching.. i almost teared...

anyway, back to myself now... i ate at KFC... yum yum... been so long since i ate the zinger... i was with Qinlong at suntec for some catching up session... we told me about some health things... haha... Nutrition, sleep, exercise and stable emotions... all these contributes to good health... haha... i remember them Qinlong...

The B24 guys are having a BBQ next thursday at CJ's place... i hope it happens... cant wait to meet the rest and just bitch about life... haha...

the guy from the CC had invited me to be part of his Youth PAP commitee thingy... i agreed... why not right?... extending it for another 2 more years... i hope i can really be part of this team... i want to contribute to the fucking society... and prove to ppl that i can be a people's person...

ok then... i think i wanna play my HELI ATTACK 2 on miniclip.com.... got to beat my score of 53 helicopters... while waiting for my tembamz...

my tutee called just now... i'll be giving him the last session on monday.. yeah yeah... $180 coming right into my pocket.... Kah-Ching!!!!

There are some days when you need dumb Fuckers like us to do dumb shit like this... haha 

I almost got the whole team... Only Me, Ilyas, Raizal, Dewa and Nasir in not in the Pic.. oh yah.. Din Dol too.. 

Ilyas was not too keen about us and all the posing... maybe he's thinking," Bloody hell!"...  

We are the Champions, my friend... We'll keep on fighting to the end... We are the champions, We are the champions... 

We thought we should let our asses take the credit...haha 

Finally, the 3 of us squeezing onto the tiny 1st place podium... Proud moment... 

Striking a pose b4 going up the podium...  

The Men Regu CHAMPIONS... Wan, Darwis, Man... 

The Regu Team... Mr "shaky Hands" Raihan took this pic... and the rest of the not-so-clear pictures too...  

In a Spot... Bro...

Fuck Fuck Fuck....
This is what i think of what happened.... but i dont wanna give a good fuck about telling what happened... what the fuck... just my fucking views... just my bloody fucking views...

bear with this... i am fucking vulgar...

1. Lesson 1: never assume that everyone knows how the fuck i am... and the how the fuck i behave... so never ever assume that everyone will accept me like my friends.... I learned this the hard way...
2. Lesson 2: Be sensitive... people dont know how fucking sensitive i am.. and they dont give a fuck too... so what applies to ppl, applies to you... be sensitive to others and how they feel...
3. Lesson 3: Putting someone in a spot should be really really fucking avoided at all cost... nobody wants to be in a spot.. Sorry...

Ok enough of that Softie shit... but fuck, i do get soft when the need comes....

Saturday and Sunday was such hectic days... I found new hatred for THE team... no name calling but haha... you know i know ah.... haha.... just dunt want to hurt the feelings of people from there... though my girlfriends was from there too... maybe i follow my emotions too much... maybe i like to follow my emotions... haha... what the fuck... just let things be... as long as no one gets hurt... but that GUY will get hurt one day... i will leave to GOD to deal with him... and i shall be a nicer guy.... Nice guys finish first right.... haha... Like Real!!!

Prize giving was such a touching moment for me... you know lah... all that training shit comes into the picture... Blood, Sweat and Toil... all that fucking fucks for this GOLD medal... haha... better luck next year for my Olahraga and more pressure to be champions again for my Regu... haha... and i still have Ganda to train for... aiyah... what the fuck... i'm such a fucking whiner.. and the trainings have yet to start.... me and whining, goes a long way...

i'm loading the pics... will display it asap...

now that we are taking a break from training, i dont know what to do... i dont feel like wanking now.. and definitely nothing much to do.. maybe i'll brush up on my typing skill... and watch more DVDs... oh yah, fuck.... how can i forget this shit... got my IPPT to train for lah... and shooting too... i guess i'll still be doing the swimming and running shit... 5 days a week.. i kind of like looking the way i am now...

Pert butt, high morale... and many "cute" comments... haha... i'm going to attract chicks during the recruitment fair... hahahah....

i sprinted up this 200m long hill at yishun park today... did it 5 times... and i fell that my knees are coming off anf my lungs felt like exploding... fuck man... 2 days of no training and i already like that? haiyah... i must try harder...

Man oh man... Mr Deeds....

I feel so damn bloody sad... that Mr Deeds DVD was really making me all sof inside... fuck man... i was really affected when the reporter wanted to tell him the true story... and he had the entire basketball court as a setting for a candle light dinner....

I wish i am as sweet as him... I know that it is just a fucking movie and the roles are fictional... but fuck, i'm so damn fucking jealous of him... this guy was friends with evryone andhe is just so nice... oh fuck... i'm really all soft now...

i felt lie crying when the fucker journalist revealed the true story on the megatron... fucking hell... i was so affected that i got all involved in it... so sad... that part was so fucking sad... man...

got to share some fucking facts... i DO cry in movies... cos the shows are just so sad and all... and the best sad love stories are Hindi movies... and i used to get weekly doses of it( i dont watch anymore TV)...

The shows keep my feet on the ground... just to potryay how fragile love and relationships can be... oh fuck.. i'm getting all emotional again... but i think its true... there are fucking bastards out there who do not play the love game fair.. (and i give my 2 middle fingers to such people)... all right all right...

i should be sleeping soon... got tuition 2moro... gotta teach algebra and geometry... haiyah... those little devils better treat me well 2moro... or i'm going to be all nasty... (cos i'm so emotinal today)...

So many things on my Fucking mind....

Like the fucking title states... i feel that there is a jumbo sale in my head... cos its so full of fucking ideas and i cant seem to sort them out... like the recent Mango sale where the clothes are thrown about and many end up on the floor... those inconsiderate woman shoppers fuckers.... haha... i'm having a good time doing this... hahaha

ok... lets see and wonder what is on my mind now... fuck man... its my fucking brain and i have to hink about what is in it... this is so weird...

oh yah... in a few hours or possibly minutes, i'm going to face my father... not to face the music or some other adult-ly punishment... haha... but to ask the dreaded and yet much anticipated "motocycle license" issue... haiyah... i dun know how to make out of this issue... i really want that license cos i frees me from the slavery of public transport to and fro school.... and i can get out later and leave school later... but then i'll be entering the world of road tax, petrol money, maintainence, parking and all that motocycle side cost... and to get the license, i have to set aside the $$$ for the lessons too... haiyah... i dun know... maybe i'm just destined to be a driver and only that... either that or the fucking long lonely tedious and not forgetting crowded trip to school....

thats one issue down....

another issue is that i've been a BABI lately.... eat and eat like fuck man... seriously... the sinful eating frenzy started yesterday... after silat... we, farah, lin, renee, rizlan, khalid, man.... we were at the pasar malam... and we ate like fuck man... i ate 2 ramly burgers, a bottle of sugercane juice and roughly a packet of durian... fuck... i had too much of durian too soon... the durian made my head spin and i suffered a hangover from all that durian...

the durian and the sugercane made me cough so much during my ritual run this morning.. fuck... i feel like an old man who had not run for years... so much phlegm... had to spit and spit... hahah... what the fuck... i had a nice jog just by clearing my throat... and the durian made my shit all custardly and creamy... haha... you shit what you eat right? khekhekhekhe

ok continue on the eating frenzy... my mum cooked Ayam MAsak Merah... nice... so i ate that b4 the Friday prayers... meet Raihan Janggut Mahaguru Swimming at Al-Guffran.... then i met Tembamz at metro.. ate at Long John's after the prayers... then at 4pm, i ate again... this time its rotiboy and kaya toast... haha... the place is some Ya Kun look-alike at raffles exchange... headed off to Mac's and had orange juice... haha....

when i was home, i ate again the Ayam Masak Merah... and that's what i ate for the day... fuck... i really feel like shit and feel like shitting.... maybe my mind is all "jumbo sale" cos there's just too much things in my stomach... hahaha....

hmmm, so what else is on my fucking mind... hahah.... arghhhh... what the fuck... i dont care... i cant be bothered to type anymore shit... cos i feel so sleepy now... from all that eating... i feel like a snake now... hehehe... eat then sleep... let the body use all the energy to digest the food...hhaha...

got to sleeeeep.....
must sleeeeep.....
ZZzzzZZzzz......
*Hibernating*