my new post...
hello bloggie... i had been a bad boy lately... i have been getting angry all the time.. i do not know why i get angr so easily... but i think my friends are even angrier ppl than me.. haha.. i guess i gave them much of my angst...
the first week of school was ok ok... i had to get used to having my girl in school.. cos we've never been in the same school b4... no problems about seeing her everyday... just trying to set aside time for her and also my friends... i do not want to be thise type of ppl where their girlfriend is in school and then they abandoned their friends... but i also want my girlfriend to feel that she comes first... hmmm... let me work this out with her..
Fuctup.. the whole week was just wasted like that... i was so not in study mood.. and kinematics was fucking tough... what degree of freedom shit.. and i had not gone to a single maths lecture yet... and thermodynamics look fucking menacing.. bloody hell.. and i feel so unsettled... well at least i enjoyed the lab so much...
the rest of my lab group was great.. Thiru the poly mamak, sam and robin the gung-ho cinas and me and fahmi the factory matz.... hahah... imagine your lab is dismantling the gearbox... i felt so fun doing it.. hands dirty with oil... allen keys, shafts, ball bearings, mallets, screw driver, plier... wow... finally, i feel like an ENGINEER... yeah...
i was elected pres... i was happy cos i think it is a prestigious post... it will look good in my resume.. but that is not the main issue here.. im feeling all scared.. i've never taken such a high leadership post.. now i have everyone to lead and no one to follow.. i dun know.. im afraid that i might change...
i am the all vulgar fighter who comes training diligently to train hard and let go all my angst... but now... i have responsibilities on my shoulders... i have fighters to lead.. i have reputation to uphold.. i have to set a good example... i am afraid that all these may change me from the ridzwan that evryone remembers to a ridzwan that is someone else...
i dont know.. i am, however, honoured that they had chosen me... that they feel i am the rightest person for the post.. i have so many thoughts in my head now.. so much fear but just as much aspiration too.. i wanna lead the team to more medals next year IVP... i wanna the proud pres that leads our team to greater heights.. i wanna see my team grow into a fitter and fiercer team.. only time will tell how my term will be... oh GOD pls help me out...
i had a talk with my cuz, imran... he lost his brother suddenly.. a bike accident... and he talked about it.. i felt for him.. one day, he was there with his uncle claiming the body of his brother.. one week later, he's at the same mortuary, claiming the same uncle who was there with him the week before... then we talked about how it feels to lose someone so unexpectedly...
i cannot imagine if my parents pass away so suddenly... i will be so ill prepared.. emotionally and logistically... i will feel so lost... to contact all my relative and inform them of the bad news... to call the undertaker.. to setlle the death cert... to clean the body... to witness the burial.. to hold the prayers... and on top of that, all the emotions and memories will be overwhelming me.. i will be so soft... and yet i have to put up a hard front... i will always remember them in my prayers..
the first week of school was ok ok... i had to get used to having my girl in school.. cos we've never been in the same school b4... no problems about seeing her everyday... just trying to set aside time for her and also my friends... i do not want to be thise type of ppl where their girlfriend is in school and then they abandoned their friends... but i also want my girlfriend to feel that she comes first... hmmm... let me work this out with her..
Fuctup.. the whole week was just wasted like that... i was so not in study mood.. and kinematics was fucking tough... what degree of freedom shit.. and i had not gone to a single maths lecture yet... and thermodynamics look fucking menacing.. bloody hell.. and i feel so unsettled... well at least i enjoyed the lab so much...
the rest of my lab group was great.. Thiru the poly mamak, sam and robin the gung-ho cinas and me and fahmi the factory matz.... hahah... imagine your lab is dismantling the gearbox... i felt so fun doing it.. hands dirty with oil... allen keys, shafts, ball bearings, mallets, screw driver, plier... wow... finally, i feel like an ENGINEER... yeah...
i was elected pres... i was happy cos i think it is a prestigious post... it will look good in my resume.. but that is not the main issue here.. im feeling all scared.. i've never taken such a high leadership post.. now i have everyone to lead and no one to follow.. i dun know.. im afraid that i might change...
i am the all vulgar fighter who comes training diligently to train hard and let go all my angst... but now... i have responsibilities on my shoulders... i have fighters to lead.. i have reputation to uphold.. i have to set a good example... i am afraid that all these may change me from the ridzwan that evryone remembers to a ridzwan that is someone else...
i dont know.. i am, however, honoured that they had chosen me... that they feel i am the rightest person for the post.. i have so many thoughts in my head now.. so much fear but just as much aspiration too.. i wanna lead the team to more medals next year IVP... i wanna the proud pres that leads our team to greater heights.. i wanna see my team grow into a fitter and fiercer team.. only time will tell how my term will be... oh GOD pls help me out...
i had a talk with my cuz, imran... he lost his brother suddenly.. a bike accident... and he talked about it.. i felt for him.. one day, he was there with his uncle claiming the body of his brother.. one week later, he's at the same mortuary, claiming the same uncle who was there with him the week before... then we talked about how it feels to lose someone so unexpectedly...
i cannot imagine if my parents pass away so suddenly... i will be so ill prepared.. emotionally and logistically... i will feel so lost... to contact all my relative and inform them of the bad news... to call the undertaker.. to setlle the death cert... to clean the body... to witness the burial.. to hold the prayers... and on top of that, all the emotions and memories will be overwhelming me.. i will be so soft... and yet i have to put up a hard front... i will always remember them in my prayers..
posted by Boltzmann at 8:08 PM
2 Comments:
hey... i feel sorry for ur cousin.
and i agrees wif u...i lost my granma very recently and i don't tink i can survive if my parents are taken away from me either....
=) see ya in skul!!
feeling so scared when i think about it... our parents are getting old... it is time that we starting learning these type of things...
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