Since now I can post pics.... Why not show you my pretty Girlfriend.. She's a Woman, unpredictable, irritating, lovable, beautiful, caring... you know, a WOMAN...  

My first Photo in the blog... thought that i should show you my Jump over the rail at Senja... 

The Much Dreaded Shopping Trip

hahaha.... and i'm back home safe and sound.... the DREADED trip wasnt so bad.... we only walk around Far East... thats all... haha... first of all, she let me eat all i want and give me all her attention.. like a predator wanting her prey to be all fat, then pounce on me cos im too fat and full of food to run..... haha....

anyway, i ate at cahaya muslim... missed those mushroom sauce chicken rice badly... a $6 meal... alone... quite a glutton eh.... well, im still a growing boy.... and the we're off, to the Shopping Trip that had been postponed... hehe...

i met Ahmad GiGi with his family there too... thank goodness i wassnt all over her... not a very morally right thing to see, esp that his sisters are there too... deep in my mind i was thinking, the parents must have good impression of me cos im still with the same girl that i was with five years ago... cos we when to their place back during raya last time... way last time... ( that is, if they recognise that my girl is the same on... )


aha, then i had my regular breaks... come on, girls really get carried away wwhen they shop... they are like on energiser batteries.... hehe... a couple of shopowners say that she's very pretty, then came the "im quite ok too".... yes yes... we know your tactics... no need to say i hemsem or not lah.... i can live without it.... hehe... one owner thot we're married... haha... what a dumb guess... stopid old lady... hehe... we went back tired and all....

passed by the liverpool fans bus... fuckers... like a bunch of chimp waiting for their turn for footballistic orgasm... damn fuckers... they should be arrested.. dont they feel out of place... i mean come on man.... i know its a great comeback but you know... haiyah... its too deep to explain... just one word, summarize: FUCKERS....

well, i told her of my plans... though it was brief... it will be target for me... i love her...

tata, suckers....

Victory over Flu

i tell you man... these flu bugs are really fuckers man... first i started sneezing and sneezing.... then i got the runny nose shit... then the next day, i had body aches ans still more sneezing and more runny nose... fuck man...

ok... i started when i got some glitters in my nose (i think, i dun blame you sweetie)... then the next day, my bady was aching all over... but i headed off to school anyway... i cannot tahan, so i went to the school doctor... paid 4 dollars for the medicine,,, and the doctor told me not to go for training... so i didnt go.. and headed home for after the lesson... fuck man... it was the longest and most painstaking journey home... my joins are all aching...

once i reached home... i slept and slept... well... i dun remember much (i'm sick you know)... but all i know is that, i missed 2 silat trainings and one lesson.... i so scared that by missing the training, i will be out of the school team...

adios guys... my exam is next week.... got to study...

Today’s Ups and Downs

Haha… I shall take things that had happened today on a light note and from a satirical point of view… I shall summaries first, the early part of the day was really wonderful… and the later part was FUCTUP… haha… this is really going to be funny… I don’t know whether to be angry or to just let it go… haiyah… let me unfold the story….

The wonderful part of the day….

It was really late last night… I had a kenduri arwah last night at Sims Drive… my late Grandfather’s 40 days of mourning… not that we mourn but more of we have paryers to ensure he goes to heaven after Di-hitung, saved from the torture in the grave and all that… I pray for him… Al-Fateha….
Ok… lets pounce on this issue… I was home quite late last night… and so I did the usual phonecall with my Tembamz…. I miss her really badly… I don’t know how this came up but we ended up talking about how I hated woman now… she noticed that I was not like this last time… and I’ve changed in terms of this.. ok…I admit it, personally I think I’ve changed.. I believe in admitting to my mistakes… (it deflates my ego and keeps me humble… hehe) she asked my why… well I blame the girls that are around me… I find them mostly troublesome… and irritating as well… haha… maybe my male ego had been abit too high now… hehe… sorry ladies… ok.. and so, she feels as though she had caused all these… I mean who wouldn’t feel this way.. I would too, if I’m her… so I explained to her why I feel like that and what we can do to overcome it… she says that I’m less romantic now… she’s right.. she doesn’t deserve my cold shoulder… she deserves my luurve man…. Hehe… well in conclusion, the talk allowed us to clear our doubts and I feel that im closer to her now.. I would say that it is a win-win argument.. we talked calmly and nicely to each other… wow… I woke up feeling like I’m so in cloud nine.. haha… what a dreamy boy I am now…

Ok… and now to the fuctup part…ladies and gentlemen, I present the “I think I’m wronged” episode….

Well.. I had another tahlil just now.. this time it is another grandfather… at woodlands… yes the passed away a day apart.. imagine the despair my family and I went through.. and I had my exams back then… haiayh how stressful.. wait, I must get back to the story… yah, and I arrive there quite late cos it was suppose to be after margrib, and I arrive at about eight… and I wasn’t wearing any baju kurung.. but I asked my dad to help me bring my baju kurung.. I was from rumah cik gat… after our parkour session at senja and greenridge… I had promised that I will be back home at 5 but then I called again saying that I will just go to the tahlil straight.. cos cik gat will go there too… I slept at his place and then got ready… well… lets just say that we’re late for the thing.. and my dad was furious about it… when I’m home, he said I broke my promise… he said I’ll be there at least after margrib… but I didn’t say that.. thankfully the argument was one sided, cos I did not raise my voice, and said sorry(though I feel that its not my fault)… I did not make any promise or any thing about arriving there early and I even told him that I’g going over to my uncle’s place to go there together.. I think it would be unfair to blame me if we were late because my uncle was late.. haiyah, nevermindlah…

I lost much of my angst now.. I think fahmi took it from me… a lot of it… now he feels like beating someone up and letting go his steam.. haha… I was so there when I was full of angst too… we the rejector and the vandals are in fact in the same group… hehe… oklah… I cant be bothered to typr anything more.. I’m so tired from all those Parkour just now.. we tried the front flip at the playground but obviously, we ended up tired and bruised… haha.. but I was really fun… ok… we’re going east coast next month to learn all our flips… back flip, front flip and 2 legs… haiyah till next time in june… see you booger wooger..

The night that I’m going to meet my lovely Tembamz….

Oh God… what a relief… finally my results are out… let me tell you the lowdown… this was what I got last semester… 2004/2005 Sem 1

Material Science C
Physics1 B
Lab B
Maths1 B
Religion B
Life Science A

Haha… not bad rite my results… a B average… well I was really proud of these results… and before I know it now, its time for my next semester… and voila, here are my results for this 2004/2005 sem 2:

Maths2 D
Social Problem C
Physics2 C
Computing C
Effective Comm B
Lab B
Chemistry A

Haiyah… when I first looked at my results, I felt kind of disappointed… well.. first and foremost, I got a D for maths… not that I’m unhappy that I passed my maths, but a D? well I never expected to have a D in my results… ok ok.. to be frank… there are a couple of things that I did not study, series, convergence divergence shit and all… and God knows what else… ok.. at least I did not fail it… then come the other disappointment, my social problem… I EXPECTED a B man… come on… an arts subject should be no lower than a B… it didn’t comfort me that I left the exam hall 15 min early… but I was really sick of the exams… I dragged for over 3 weeks… and Social prob was my last paper… to hell with it marn…. I’m really grateful for the rest though… I dropped from a B average to a C average… but one more thing, I kind of expected my chem to be a Distinction… I was so bloody easy man… I completed the paper checked it twice and still had 1 hour of free time… ok, I didn’t know how to do the complex Kf question… but that was the only thing I didn’t know man… fucker… and I think that question cost me 10 marks… made a difference between a distinction and an A.. fuck man…. Ok… forget about brooding over whats over… I di much better than most of my friends… most of them sangkut some modules…. Ok.. forget about it man…

And i‘m going for silat training 2moro… I did half an hour of groin stretching just now… hell man… I feel so tight…but I MUST be flexible… for seni man… if not I’m useless… fuck… I have so much aggression in me… need to let go of it soon, during training… the animal in me is coming out…

I’m meeting my girl 2moro morning for breakfast…. Maybe at mac’s or maybe somewhere else… “oh where oh where can my baby be”…. She said she’ll call after ‘fallen idols’, but still no call now… and its 0015 now… hmmm… I hope she’s not asleep or feel asleep in front of the TV or totally forget about our conversation… fuck man… just called her… and still no answer… the many calls that I’ve made tonight… I’ve been stealing other’s wireless network but today, there’s no luck… and I’m writing this out in MS word, the transferring it to the blog later when there is internet…

I’m listening to reggae now… and damn it’s really making me miss hall… those nights when we studied like hell.. till subuh.. listened to reggae.. pushing each other on… life was simple then… no TV as long as there’s lappie… and there’s constant musik… study till we go crazy, then sleep when we really cant take it… then there is the redemption talks b4 we sleep… hai, fuck man… I really miss those shit… but its really too expensive.. I cant afford it at all.. now all my reserves are depleted… only left $7 in the bank… jialat liao…

I went home with sri man… what luck!!! Just a great coincidence that she’s going yishun too… fuck!!! I really can believe my luck… hehe… I pity her sumtimes.. that she gets all these reactions from us… but sometime she doesn’t know how to look after her own ass… till some day, her loved on tell her that… (We’ve tried, really)… ok lah..

I really miss my girl and cant waiting to meet her 2moro.. still waiting for her phonecall… pls call me dear…

0024 Saturday 21st may 2005

Silat camp part 3

fuck fuck fuck!!!! this time im for real... i had made a blog entry... about how much i miss my tembamz throughut the camp and how much i learned and bonded with the team during the camp... and when i want to add photos, the internet explorer had an error and it auto-closes the window... fuctupman... ok... first things first... i really missed her... alot.. and i appreciate her patience for waiting for me throughout the camp... i love her for that... she can really wait for me... but of course im going to reward her for all that... and i promised her that... last night was bad... she waited and waited.. and i had a meeting to decide who becomes captain and team manager.. till it was so late that i told her to sleep.. i pity her.. but i know she does it cos she misses me alot... thanks you my dear...

ok, things i've learned in the camp... seni is tougher than tanding... and whats worse is that im in both... keep a cool head when fighting.. no emotions... how to train without equipment... shadow fighting of course... and i learned about others too... the camp broke down our barriers and now we have high morale and that we trust our team to give us the suport for each other... i truly enjoyed the camp... it was such a success... and i'm going to treasure all that we bonded with each other.... go antiyou(NTU).....

Small Silat, Big Taco trip

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..... hahaha... i had such a great time at the fucking silat camp... and not that im sacarstic... haha... and the "fucks" here are used in a positive connotation kind of way man... serious...

I have so much to blog these few days... let me start with the taco trip i had with syaiful on sunday first... we had a good time catching up on the good ol times... we met at what i think was 4.30pm... cant really remember all the numerical details( come on man.. my brain is on a fucking vacation... like duh!!!) ok then we headed off to Funan taco's... makan macam nak mampos... haha... i knew im going to suffer for this silat camp camp so i had no guilt about eating my hearts out here... i bought a zinger and a chicken gorditta meal.. with the usual cheese fries... hahah... PIGS UNITE (1983 pe)... and let me assure you that syaiful ate alot too ok... we're both pigs... he ate a taco supreme meal add a burrito supreme... hahah... sial betul...

so when we made our way down to funan, we felt that we were going for Almas again... just like the years we've been doing it together since sec 3.. he would wait for me at the middle of the station then i will come and we head off to Madrasah AlJunied... haha... those days, being late didnt matter... we were once so late that we attended class after recess... hehe... takpe lah, kalau kerana ilmu, tak ke mana kan.... heheh... we talked about the times when we were in Almas... the time we copied our hearts out for Bahasa Arab... and got the top 3 positions in class... hehe.. the times when we fight with erasers... no interest whatsoever in learning... hehe... and the times we would jump out of the window to cabut for recess... pintu ader tapi tak nak tau.. heheh... we were one of the delinquents... really "cekik darah" delinquents... hehhe... soory, im really guilty of that... and then we talked about all the ustazs that had taught us and had passed away... ( may their souls dijauhkan dari azab kubur and dosa mereka diampunkan)... they deserve my greatest and utmost respect... teachers who do not get much pay, face children like me, and yet push on teaching religiousity to us... I give my highest salutation for all my Gurus...

we'll be headed to bugis cos i wanted to buy a set of silat uniform from liang seng... dah jalan jauh2 then liang seng at marina was closed... sial... penat aku jalan tau... pantat... and so we thot of goin to liang seng jp.. but what the heck, its so fucking far.. so we ended up at bugis, cos syaifulwanted to buy some accessories... like some leather wrist band... hehe... we went there and both him and i ended up buying 2... hahah... talk about impulsive buying... hey but, it only cost $1 each... ok what?!.... ok we then headed home ofter a sundae and large drink at macs... had a good laugh there... but i seriously cant remember what its all about... heheh... (told you my brain is really on holiday)... i also hurt myself cos the back of my knee hit the corner of the bench at macs... fuck man... that one wasnt funny... and it really hurts till now... haiyah... what a bad time to get hrt on my legs... then we headed home... heheh... cos syaiful wantted to catch the soocer that night and i need to pack my stuffs for the HELL SILAT CAMP...

ok... so she got a blog now...

Fuck man... really fuctup.... we had a blog and she was so free to write in... ans now she has a blog on her own... man.. sometimes these girls just do not appreciate or understand what is the situation that had been set by their loved ones... haiyah.. and i just read it... she's complaing that guys dun understand abut pms... i mean, y the fuck would we understand... we dont go through it... and when we try being there for the lady, we become so vulnerable.. everything we do is wrong... everthing we dont do is also wrong...

i didnt want to go into the cave... im forced to.. by her.. and you know how you're not suppose to peek in... i just makes the process longer... i was getting better when i had the morning and afternoon alone... though sad... but i was getting better... and she has to sms me... kind of break my momentum... kind of pull me back to my old self.. the troubled person... fuck man... i did let go some stress during my silat training just now.. i felt that i should not treat her this way.. but this feeling came only when i felt better for myself...

and so i msg her that i want to talk to her... maybe over msn... and i switch on my msn and saw her blog... telling the whole world... i can so forsee that this might be an issue later on...

anyway training was kind of tough just now... my legs kind of hurt.. and so are the rest of my body... sapuan depan.. sapuan belakang... and duckwalks, frog jumps, starjumps, sprinting... haiyah... come to think of it.. not bad ah my training.. boleh tahan teruk jugak eh... did some tapping... and man, that nasir guy can really kick... sakit nak mampos my elbow nie... kena ketisan maut nasir... i call him CERTAIN DEATH... hemay not be good, but he sure can hurt... (somebody is gonna get hurt).... haha


ana kena tubuk on the lips... by farah.. hahah... i cant believe she cried... i thought she tough... so maybe not.. well the route to being good was never claimed easy and painless...

i need to get a new set of uniform... the one i have now.. is really fucking smelly.. well it will scared away my opponents.. but come on man.. i stink like fuck... khkehkeh... oh man.. got a silat camp on mon.. haiyah... mati habis dok... no chance to curik tulang.. haiyah what to do... you want to be good, then you have to train like a crazy fucker...

ok.. my time to speak to this lady is really drawing near.. i feel like im going to war... nevermind lah... the great sex after war is always fulfilling... hehe... orietz.. till there's peace on earth.. fuck everyone man...

Ups and Downs

Times had been both bad and good... i had a good time with her yesterday... though it started kind of rough of rough at first... it all started when she asked me to call her if i had bought the tickets already.. i bought the tics at the axs downstairs at about 3... so i tried calling her... and i called and i called and i called... but no response from her... i grew frustrated... i gave up... so many times that i cant seem to get to her... whether i just want to call her or she wants me to call her... doesnt she know that the phone is for the purpose to being contactable.. why would you want to put the phone in the bag if youre expecting a call... and even if it is in the bag, pls check it frequently so see if i've called... im sick of this... it makes me frustrated and spoils my mood...

it gets worse when she told me she's going to be late.. but she said soory and that at least makes the situation better... i overslept in the train cos i was so tired.. ended up at city hall... and when i called her, she's still at kallang... haiyah... we should be in the movie by then and im still waituiig for her at city hall... ok.. i know i must appreciate this cos she really tried her best to make it in time.. and that it is not her fault....

the movie was great(Coach Carter at plaza sing).. and we had dinner at burger king and then, me being the person that i am nowadays, we had a disagreement about the fries... i wanted her to eat the fries with me and finish it b4 we start the burger.. but she did not want it.. i asked her many times to eat the fries... cos most of the time, she didnt finish the fries... and i ate and i ate and i ate... till she told me that she tought i was going to finish everything... haiyah... another disagreement again...

we settled that cos i kept a cool head and tried to be jovial.. after all it is such a small matter... and then we headed back... had a good time in the train... she told me that she really missed me badly.. and i told her that she must express it to me... i cant read the mind of others... i told her that i feel like the female in the relationship... i express everything that i feel and she keeps alot to herself and expects me to mind read her...

i thot it would be a wonderful day.. and so i gave her a well deserved hug and headed home in a taxi cos i was tired... she wants to talk to me when i get back and so i rushed through al;l the bathing and stuffs ajnd called her.. she saw my msn nick saying that im dissatisfied and have alot of feelings.... and she wanted to talk about it...

and that was all the ups... and here comes the downs... i realised that i was kind of easily irritaed nowadays... just not settled... i dont know what is going on in mee.. but i think the root of it all was the hard rock nite i had on sunday.. i was going for reggae nite.. and fuck man.. i feel bad that i'm leaving my girl alone for the night... i feel guilty about this... thats fine.. cos i thot the next day, i will be talking to her... then the next day, when she's back from work, i called her... i was on my way out to have dinner.. and we talked on the phone.. i had an urge to be alone.. but i talkd to her anyway, cos i know she deserves my attention.. but i told her my battery was low and that amirul was alone too... so i wanted to put down the phone.. she got upset about it...
ok so fuck it man... the we went to watch force vomit at bar none.. i called her again and she was really all upset about things... she was going through PMS and gave me the silent treatment... i really felt terrible.. that i had left her alone for 2 days straight... so i promised to myself that i will talk to her the next day...

but the next day, after work, i got hungry and so did the bos... i know imust talk to her if not she wouldnt forgive me for leaving her alone these days... what i had planned was to talk to her after my meal or before the meal.. but we ended up talking over my meal... so i talked to her.. leaving the prata and drink till its cold... i ended up not eating my leftover prata... cos i really wanted to show to her that i remember her and treasure our calls... we talked about what happened the nigt b4.. and i told her its irritating to blame PMS for the shit that happens.. fuck man.. PMS pMS pMS... why cant guys have PMS so we can blame that when we screw up... so i was all frustrated again... and i left my friends too while i talked to her... i just feel so confused...

last night, after the movie... we talked about why my nick was as stated... i told her i did not know.. fuck man.. i ned to sort things out b4 i can tell her why i feel like that... then she tell me to go into the cave and sort it out... i didnt want to talk about this cos it will just spoil the romantic mood that we had last night... but of course we ended up talking about it... i lost my mood ans so did she... and best of, i didnt want to talk about it and she didnt want this to happen... what a lose lose situation i have... i feel so lost now... i'm leaving her till i get my head sorted out... these fucking things in my head... fuctup man..

she thinks that im hiding something from her... i really am not hiding anything from her.. i quitted smoking, i do not drink when i went HRC and i kept myself away from girls.. i think everyone knows that i really keep away from girls.. cos i want to look after her heart... what can i possibly hide from her.. i do cheat on her and i do not flirt with girls too... but i am close to the guys.. just some boys bonding.. i dont know lah... this feeling is really fucking up my day...

she msged me last night and i read it.. i was trying to sort my things.. so i did not respond to her.. and i know she is feeling insecure about it.. maybe i i should take thhis time to be alone and think about why the fuck im feeling like this... this is really fuckup man... she said i onli say i missed her on msn and sms... but when we talk, its a diff story..

let me tell you the feelings in me now....

1. guilt... that i had left her alone and trying to make up for it is not good enough on my part... at least that is how i feel....
2. angry.... that i'm forced to sort things out and we totally wasted last night... talking about this shit... fuck man... really fucking hell..
3. irritated... that this feeling and emotion that i possess now is really stuck on me for the past few days... i thot it will go away but... its still here... fuckup...
4. terrible.... that my girl has really to bear with this... even after i left her alone... how much more must she endure b4 we can be happy again...

i will leave everything today... and solve this matter at hand... imust must... this must not go on... i miss her... but i must really feel it first b4 facing her...

my first blog in a Thousand years

Hah... yes sa... i bloody fucking first blog for myself and onli myself.. i have one for my family, one for my girl... and finally now... one just for me... specifically for me... ahhhhhhh man... i feel so good.... actually i'm feeling bored lah... i had just completed my exams.. and man are they damn fucking tough or what man... i feel like crying... (you know i kind of a softie inside, my heart is like porcelin).. let me warn you that my spelling kind of really terrible... ah wtf.. its ot a problem man.. i bet doctor cannot spell out their medicines and just scribble anything they like... ok back to my after exams story... today was my last day in hall seven... i had been a great time there.. the late suppers kat kadai mamak and our kerang rebus kat al amin... heheh... i truly enjoyed freedom there... not that i do not have freedom.. but just that im staying and living together with friends... if only i know how to add fotos in this blog... haiyah tsoo trublesome this technology shit... sial... but what the heck.. as long as i can express myself and keep up with the times sua... tak mau jadi budak ketinggalan zaman lah kata kan... ok lah... aku dah malas nak type lagi... asakan ada entry sudah.... i'll be back besok to write whatever that i feel like writing... i love being unpredictable.. but not as fortunate as the way gurls blame stoopid things they do on PMS... alah you know lah that type of things.... ok selamatz...