Black Semester and My Dad

The whole exams period things was so such a shitty feeling... every exams is a shocking "im gonna fail this one" feeling... and i really hate that feeling... whatever happened to the "i'd studied enough and wanna get this exam done and over with and enjoy my holidays"... huh?! what fucking happened to all those feelings?

Well... i last wrote in after my fuctup kinematics paper.. then there was 2 days to study for the Materials and manufacturing paper... wow... so much shit to absorb and so little time... it was better subjects and seriously, i dont think i will be better off than the rest...

we were desperate... we wished that we can just put our brains on the notes and the notes will just diffuse into our brains... i was so desperate i included answers that will amust the lecturer... khekhe... whatever to make the lecturer think that i am all smart and worthy of an good grade... khekhek

then there was my thermo... khekheke... thermo thermo thermo... how unprepared i was... how unprepared we all were... we were studying and we were told to leave cos the place was closing... i think the security guard was doing an "MTV Whatever Things" on us lah... Then we ended up with a long bench full of nosy mosquitoes and a mental block... there was only up to a certain threshold whereby we just decide to fucking well give up... I was seriously on the brink of all that... thankfully, i didnt... but that doesnt mean the paper was easy... its tough... haiyah...

then the next day, my much awaited date with my all deserving tembamz... bad news arrived... My dad was rushed to the hospital for severe anemia... haiyah... i was so worried sick... but my parents wanted to hide it from me cos i still have another paper... but come on lah... i need to know whats going on right?....

after a bad fish porridge meal with tembamz, we headed off to SGH... so so worried... i was thinking of so many things... haiyah... but thankfully, its now all over... cos the docs concluded that the cause is lack of vitamin b12....

I won the fossball tournament on wednesday... and i left early for my technical commm paper... i really had to pee... and i wanted to end the paper real quick... khekhee... whateverlah... my friends visited my dad in SGH... thank you so much guys for giving me the support during my weak period.. buddies...

i have to talk to tembamz now... shes been such a supportive and understanding girlfriend... i really appreciate all the support she'd given me through this exams and dad in the hospital period...

my results will be out soon... so scared... i really want to clear everything.. i must changed my study technique next sem... the current one will not work all the time... but till then, LETS FUCKING ENJOY!!!!

Tembamz's place on sunday, SIlat raya on tuesday, training on thursday!!!!

yeah yeah yeah... i think i will go out with tembamz on wednesday... YEAH!!!!

My fuctup Kinematics exam today

Fucking hell...

i've always hated open book exams... there are all fuctup... all of them... it gives us the false sense of security that we have all the notes and books with us... so "just in case" we forget anything, we can always retrieve it...

all that fuctup sense of shitty security... my exam today was a bloody hell heart attack... thankfully i attempted the last question first... out of four questions, i could do only 2... out of hundred marks, i couldnt do 60 of it... i just hope evryone finds it equally as hard so that the bloody bell shape curve will be shifted... and that i can at least pass... fucking hell...

i was really breaking down for this paper... so much to study... so little time.. and i actually started studying 1 fucking month b4 the exams.. fuctup... i dun know whats wrong... maybe its my study technique... maybe its my retention power... maybe im just too fuctup...

i have Materials and Manufacturing on fri... bloody hell.. i've really got high hopes for this paper... i need my A from somewhere... but its all memory work... i've really got to struggle... now... i must...

fuck lah... im horny, im desperate, im afraid, im scared, im grateful, im sore, im confused, im angry, im cranky, im tired, im drained, im depressed, im UNDER-ACHIEVING....

thanks yash for the comment... i just set targets for myself... but i do get depressed if i can achieve it... but sometime i do.. i dun know..

anyway, i was abit too carried away eh for the pres shit... khekhekhe... cahirman pun chairman lah... gua tak pasal...


i had a chat with BOYAN D'CAkes...
" you ah Wan, the course with the highest workload is Medicine.
You know what is the second most demanding course?!
ENGINEERING! "

he didnt state that... his MO did... haiyah..

im beginning to question my relevance to the engineering world in the future... maybe PE is more like... whatever lah eh...

got to study now... i memorised 54 pages of 6 slides each this afternoon... 4 hours... many more thousand slides to go...

fuck...

my maths paper 2moro

My oh My....

I studied and studied... did not have enough rest... did not have proper food... and now i am sick.. i Was sick.. i went to the doctor yesterday... cos i really needed the time to study for my maths...

thankfully the medicine is very effective... the flu and cough and fever are gone... just some occasion with a blocked nose and the frequent yello/green phlegm... khekhekhe...

i had a crase course on maths just now... PDE and complex integral... i'll definitely need to read up on that... 2moro on the way to school maybe... and i need to find out my seating plan for the exam too...

after maths, im going to go out with tembamz for her bday... i really wish i can spent more time with her, if not the whole day with her, on her bday... but its my exams now... i cant have the luxury of time.. not now..

maths will definitely drain me out... then i have kinematics... another module that seemed easy but kills me under my legs... shit man... welll i will take things one at a time first....

the medicine is making me so drowsy... so very drowsy...

Got to call my Tembamz...

Happy Bday Tembamz....

the day b4 raya

i can finally say that i am over with mechanics... i had a good last buka with my family.. everything was there, ketupats, sambal goreng, lontong and the usual dishes...

i ate so much... so yum2...

i went geylang... so many ppl... so many faces that i know... so many mats and minahs too... but what the heck... no point being all moody there at geylang... just enjoy the humid and hot atmosphere there... its so crowded...

2moro is aidilfitri... and friday's mechanics paper.. and then i have 1 week to finish studying for my maths and kinematics.. i so sick of studying... but i need to remain strong...

this is not the time to give up... i must prove to myself that i can be a leader in sports and also studies...

all the best, fighters for your exams... i miss training so badly... i need to release all my angst...