cocky

hmmm.... guess what i think my life is in a mess...

im not referring to external things going on in my life... work had been great... my health is ok.. and i had many upcoming events i look forward to in my love life...

but somehow, deep inside me, i kind of feel different...

it seems difficult to smile without any reason... and i dun like this feeling... like something is amiss... its as though i am not ONE with myself...

i used to smile for no apparent reason... not cos im crazy but because im just happy, internally and externally...

but now it seems i need to be externally happy-ed... why ah?? hmmm...

and so i peered briefly at myself from outside... i found 3 main reasons....

1. I'm lacking in self discipline... i seem to want have instant gratification disorder... i want everything and want them fast... patience need to be developed again... and nothing comes to me without any hard work and peseverance... hmmm... i seem to lose the routine i possesed in school... all i had to do is to work hard on weekdays and then enjoy from friday night onwards... i dun think its too big a sacrifice to make...
2. sleeping in late... i remember forgetting eveything and then going to sleep... and i can still make up for everything that i lose out the next day... i accepted the fact that sleep to me is a real issue and NEED... so now, i had decided to sleep early and wake up early... "early bird catches the worm" remember???
3. exercise... man, i had not worked out like since 1 month ago... where had the jock in me gone to?? physical exercise releases endophines.. and these hormones naturally make me happy... hahaha...

so yeap... i need to build a routine of sleeping in early, being a chirpy early bird, work out in the morning when the air is cool and when my mind is all groggy...

and yes i need some good ol self discipline...