striked out again

i couldnt believe it...

i guess my luck at this love thing had totally ran out...

i wonder when will the day come when i can say for sure that there will be a girl out there that wants to be with me...

i had to let my feelings out... its couped up in me...

i was holding back my tears... better now then later...

do i deserve to be alone?

I guess im the type of person that seeks companionship. i want to be with a special someone that i can love and feel loved... but currently, no one can do that for me...

haitz...

its ok if we're not compatible... i shall respect your decision...

again, life had given me another lesson...

so many up and downs lately... i wonder why...

am i truly that unstable as quoted previously?

there's so much that i want to pour out, but i cant....

cos right now, i have my exams to concerntrate on...

i was looking forward to the holidays after my exams...

oh well, these are determined by God...

I shall accept it...

Exams...

My second last hurdle...
Exams... we cant live without them..
neither can we live with them...
year 4 had been really hectic so far...
lots of assignments...
and exams are always essential to test the true blue Engineer..
how an engineer deals with stress...
how to overcome all difficulties...
2 exams today...
Aircraft Propulsion... and Mind Over stress...
I didnt emerge out of the exam hall too happy today...
felt shitty...
And year 4 is the time to get all my As...
*groan*
been feeling down...
maybe its exam fever...
maybe its the heart matters....
maybe lah... ever so maybe...

i am a type A personality...
and after reading Mind Over Stress, i find out that
I actually have alot of weaknesses...
I want to find spiritual health..
i want to achieve calmness...
I do not want to lose my friends...
I need to treat others better...
more importantly, i want to be happy...
cos all these while, i feel that im underachieving...
i dun know...
am i the unappreciative sort???

feeling down...
Bad cough... Lethagic... Mentally Drained...
lots of materials more to cover...
Fluids... Design.. HUman Factors... Aero Materials...
my oh my....

I want to do good after exams...
I want to read more self improvement books...
I want to know more abt how to improve myself...

Missed SIA and PSA applications...
Why??? things just seem not to go my way lately...
maybe i need to slow down and think abt what i have...
Have i been neglecting others...
Or have others been neglecting me...

Got to get back to studying...
Been emotional lately...

oh man...
been feeling low lately... oh dear...
but yesterday made things look brighter...

i passed my physical proficiency test!!! Yahoo...
I did my Mechanics of Aero Materials quiz without copying...
what an achievement... haha...
and im pretty confident of it too... yessa...
had a nice talk last night...
and now i have something to look forward to 2moro...
best!!!!

but i now approaching a minimum pt again..
where the gradient of the curve tends to zero...
my fluids quiz is at 7 later...
didnt study much for it...
depending on the part time students to show me some light... haha

but after that the gradient will increase...
cos after that i will be planning out my exam timetable...
finally, no more assignments and quizzes left...
just exams... and im preping myself for the war...
oh my...

going to meet the vendor 2moro to fabricate the gene gun...
hopefully he understands our drawings...
and after that maybe a movie or something...
i want to eat that pretzels....
yum yum...