.....
i dun know what to say... so much feelings in me.. in my heart... even a great game of RISK with friends could not pry my thoughts away from my heavy heart... even the endophins released after my IPPT could not keep my mind off what thats bothering me...
it was such heart breaking news to hear... when i saw the reluctance on amirul's face, i knew what i will hear would not be anything that im prepared for... i refrained myself from breaking down... all i could do was stare into space, literally feel my heart sink..
i totally broke down when i talked to my sister on the phone... in the canteen... i just couldnt keep it within me anymore...
how could these things happen? they all just doesnt sum up.. they dont make sense.. I was searching for answers to my questions, but all that i found was irrationality...
it's no use playing the blame game now...
"Fazleen got engaged last week,
to her colleague at work,
which she started dating for 3 months,
after i broke up with her 6 months ago,
the same fazleen that i was so greatly attached to for 7 years"
the reasons she gave when we broke up.. "Uncertainty, InStability"
From the way i see it, It was more of we broke up because of the situation we were in.. not because we were not compatible.. Fazleen, why couldnt you wait out for me? What have I done wrong to deserve all these from you? I am pursuing my studies and It was the country that took away my 2.5 years.. anything that i could have done to make things better, i did... and you know that..
I stand in Awe of God's Will..
I had to let all these out.. i had to...
i dun know what to say... so much feelings in me.. in my heart... even a great game of RISK with friends could not pry my thoughts away from my heavy heart... even the endophins released after my IPPT could not keep my mind off what thats bothering me...
it was such heart breaking news to hear... when i saw the reluctance on amirul's face, i knew what i will hear would not be anything that im prepared for... i refrained myself from breaking down... all i could do was stare into space, literally feel my heart sink..
i totally broke down when i talked to my sister on the phone... in the canteen... i just couldnt keep it within me anymore...
how could these things happen? they all just doesnt sum up.. they dont make sense.. I was searching for answers to my questions, but all that i found was irrationality...
it's no use playing the blame game now...
"Fazleen got engaged last week,
to her colleague at work,
which she started dating for 3 months,
after i broke up with her 6 months ago,
the same fazleen that i was so greatly attached to for 7 years"
the reasons she gave when we broke up.. "Uncertainty, InStability"
From the way i see it, It was more of we broke up because of the situation we were in.. not because we were not compatible.. Fazleen, why couldnt you wait out for me? What have I done wrong to deserve all these from you? I am pursuing my studies and It was the country that took away my 2.5 years.. anything that i could have done to make things better, i did... and you know that..
I stand in Awe of God's Will..
I had to let all these out.. i had to...
posted by Boltzmann at 12:09 PM
15 Comments:
reading ur post just reminds me of my own pain. i shant say more.. chins up man. time will hopefully heal... =(
abg wan.. hopefully time will heal everything tt u're gg thru rite nw aite.. Be strong n chins up.. Ganbatte!! ^_^
thanks mimi and anonymous... i appreciate your support
that is so depressing.
but hopefully time will heal all wounds.
there's nothing much i can do as a friend. only to be by ur side and support u thru time like these.
so take care aight.
see u in school!
aida orange
wan oh my horny wan... everything's gg be alrite.trust me.when one door closes, another BETTER one will open.Trust in Him.Im glad ur taking the challenges He has given u in good faith.come on bro..jia you.im supporting u all d way.
-the MAE minah tudung
thanks you ladies for giving me encouraging words... next time you see me all frowning, you ladies can cheer me up...
hey..was blog hopping..man..i noe how u feel..
it really hurts to know that U r not the one..I am going thru that phase now.
I noe u r a strong person who loves to joke ard and make ppl laugh..U can pull it through..
Insya allah..true love will come soon :)
thanks anonymous (1040pm) for your encouraging words.. i guess we can only turn to God when these kind of things happens..
rilek beb, men age like wine, women age like susu basi! haha..
setiap kejadian adalah suatu ujian
setiap ujian adalah suatu kesabaran
setiap kesabaran adalah suatu ganjaran
setiap ganjaran hanya dtg dari Allah s.w.t
DIA tahu apa yg terbaik untuk kita
Maka terimalah dugaan ini dgn penuh keikhlasan dan tabah kerna ganjaran yang akan diberi tiada bandingan dari apa yang kita telah lalui dan kecapi...
Be strong bro... tiada dugaan diberi pada kita kalau DIA tak yakin kita boleh melaluinya. =)
You're right bros.. Maybe i lack the patience to wait out for my life to get better.. and thats what i've been praying for... thanks for your (ali and Anonymous) words of wisdom..
i do not know you.
but if you really did love her during tt 7 years, my brother, honour that love and time by being truly happy for her because she is happy.
only then will you really understand how to let go.
only then will you really understand that maybe, she is really happy with someone else.
and that you are not the one she did not choose, you were just not the one, but you were everything to her during that 7 years, and if not for you, she would not have been so poised to marriage now.
heads up my bro, though i do not know you, i feel your pain and your love.
look to God and friends around you.
You will be back up in no time, I guarantee it.
Khalaz.
my dear bloghopper, i really wish i can be happy for someone else... but truly, maybe i've not reached that level of maturity whereby i can let someone go for that person to spend her life with another person... im beginning to learn that life has its unfair side.. and for this case, i am on the losing end maybe... or maybe i have yet to realise that God is planning something better for me... so many maybes right now... anyway, thanks for your advices... God, family and friends had been keeping my spirits high...
Hi..I bloghopped.First time entering ur site. This may seem a very late comment but that post there made my heart break too.
I experienced a similar thing to what you have to experience. I know it's hard. Very very hard. The years of happy memories shared would be a painful one to handle.
This is a test of iman.
Ada jodoh yang lebih baik menanti. Hopefully after you graduate later, you would get hold of the true gem.
Hopefully by now, you have calmed down what with the exams coming through soon.
Gd luck!
thanks for your encouragement norpentunjuk... im much better off now... i think life had been giving essential lessons... my heart was life a fragile piece of glass previously... maybe i was living in my own out of the world fantasy... but now, i realise, that life is not at all a fairy tale... but its ok... thats life.. God had been there for me..
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