sad thoughts

i ran just now...
but for half the time, i wasnt happy...
i was sad...

it struck to me like lightning through my heart...
and i had nothing to hold on too...

i have many imperfections..
i do not want to call it defects... cos that may sound that im not thankful of what i have..

i am allegic to grass..
i am allegic to panadol..
i cant drink the blue and silver red bull..
i am partially colourblind..
and now i have 4 bolts in my right elbow...

there must be strong points that i possess..
something that will even out my imperfections..

then i start to think of my future children...
will they be like me, full of imperfections...

i remembered being laughed at by my friends and the nurses back in primary school..
when i couldnt make out the numbers in the colour blind test...
i remember being laughed at by friends when i told them i was allegic to panadol...
telling them that im allegic to grass draws much amusement too...

such amusement that some ppl i know belittle me cos it makes me less of a man...

Come on Fuckers...
i didnt ask for all these allegies..

maybe i played a part for my broken elbow...
but that too was an accident...
not that i didnt stick to "safety first"

i dun know...
this time round running was kind of a reflection of what i have and what i dont...

the serene and quiet scenery at yishun dam kind of make me more emotional...
thats the place i go when i have problems and think things out...