flashbacks
In life, i've learnt that there are just too many "what ifs".. Tembamz finally gave me a lowdown on what exactly when through her mind or rather what actually happened during our breakup.. i must say it was yet another sad moment for me..
but i've learnt to control my emotions.. and i've resent to the fact that these things are beyond my control.. i tried controlling everything and i eventually broke down badly... i'm not going to let that happen again.. im going to deal what that is within my control..
what that happened in the past cannot be changed anymore... and have quite a bit from my past to learn from... i've learnt how important frank communication is in a relationship... tembamz's already engaged and it wouldnt be fair on her fiancee if i communicated with her..
Plus, I've already got cupcake.. and I really love her alot... and im not going to let anything stupid happen that may affect what i have between me and her..
In love, there is no such thing such as a "half-fuck" effort... when youre in, you must give your all.. and i see it as cheating when a party actually gives less... it doesnt help if the other party is still so crazy abt the one that give less.. let alone when the person gives everything and have no idea that he/she is receiving less and less...
life has changes, some are planned and some are unplanned... and these changes may be negative changes and also positive ones... i've made plans that had stretched till end of 2010... but all that was for nothing cos the plan lacked the person that i planned it for..
and again, i made changes in my life..
life is too short, i've cried many rivers for this girl that i once loved. and i;ve cried many more rivers thinking of what happened.. and now, my tears had run dry... and now, i've told myself that she's no longer worth my tears..
one thing i;ve realised.. as guys, we must have the leadership qualities and influence to sustain a healthy and fulfilling relationship... only then, we can actually look further ahead, and prepare ourselves to be an effective husband.. maybe, for what happened in my previous relationship, this was what i lacked... i lacked all these competencies.. and these shortcomings shadowed the achievements and other characteristics that i possessed...
the "what ifs" are truly neverending..
what if she's not the one for me?
What if she still wants me?
what if she do this again in the future?
what if she's not been entirely frank with me?
what if... what if...
i had made many mistakes in my life... and i cant turn back time to change this.. i rectify the consequences of my mistakes and make sure it doesnt happen again in the future... i learnt from the painful lessons that these mistakes taught me.. regret do set in, but dwelling in regret does not produce anything constructive.. i have a life to lead and look forward to and fazleen, you have your life to look forward to..
thanks for telling me what happened.. now that youre engaged, pls be fair to him and dont take him for granted.. love him with all your heart.. true, its tough goingh through a life that you had not visualised and planned.. but that is the path that you chose.. and i have to be fair to cupcake too.. i am committed to her and crazy abt her..
we are now leading our separate lives and lets keep it that way.. i had given you the chances you needed.. the breakup had definitely taught you and i the greater values of a relationship.. God had predetermined everything... and if we are meant to be, our paths will cross again...
but i've learnt to control my emotions.. and i've resent to the fact that these things are beyond my control.. i tried controlling everything and i eventually broke down badly... i'm not going to let that happen again.. im going to deal what that is within my control..
what that happened in the past cannot be changed anymore... and have quite a bit from my past to learn from... i've learnt how important frank communication is in a relationship... tembamz's already engaged and it wouldnt be fair on her fiancee if i communicated with her..
Plus, I've already got cupcake.. and I really love her alot... and im not going to let anything stupid happen that may affect what i have between me and her..
In love, there is no such thing such as a "half-fuck" effort... when youre in, you must give your all.. and i see it as cheating when a party actually gives less... it doesnt help if the other party is still so crazy abt the one that give less.. let alone when the person gives everything and have no idea that he/she is receiving less and less...
life has changes, some are planned and some are unplanned... and these changes may be negative changes and also positive ones... i've made plans that had stretched till end of 2010... but all that was for nothing cos the plan lacked the person that i planned it for..
and again, i made changes in my life..
life is too short, i've cried many rivers for this girl that i once loved. and i;ve cried many more rivers thinking of what happened.. and now, my tears had run dry... and now, i've told myself that she's no longer worth my tears..
one thing i;ve realised.. as guys, we must have the leadership qualities and influence to sustain a healthy and fulfilling relationship... only then, we can actually look further ahead, and prepare ourselves to be an effective husband.. maybe, for what happened in my previous relationship, this was what i lacked... i lacked all these competencies.. and these shortcomings shadowed the achievements and other characteristics that i possessed...
the "what ifs" are truly neverending..
what if she's not the one for me?
What if she still wants me?
what if she do this again in the future?
what if she's not been entirely frank with me?
what if... what if...
i had made many mistakes in my life... and i cant turn back time to change this.. i rectify the consequences of my mistakes and make sure it doesnt happen again in the future... i learnt from the painful lessons that these mistakes taught me.. regret do set in, but dwelling in regret does not produce anything constructive.. i have a life to lead and look forward to and fazleen, you have your life to look forward to..
thanks for telling me what happened.. now that youre engaged, pls be fair to him and dont take him for granted.. love him with all your heart.. true, its tough goingh through a life that you had not visualised and planned.. but that is the path that you chose.. and i have to be fair to cupcake too.. i am committed to her and crazy abt her..
we are now leading our separate lives and lets keep it that way.. i had given you the chances you needed.. the breakup had definitely taught you and i the greater values of a relationship.. God had predetermined everything... and if we are meant to be, our paths will cross again...
posted by Boltzmann at 8:24 AM
13 Comments:
Where love is concern, there is really no right or wrong.
I hope you're ok.. Chin up dude! :)
Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we are wired that way. Bcos without it, i dont know, maybe we just wouldnt feel real.
Oh dont u worry much, you will be alright! (:
thanks ladies for your kind words.. seriously, im still trying to understand the female mind and how it works.. and yeap, im alright now.. thanks again..
seriously. seriously. the list nvr ends n it keeps changing. so dont bother, u might just get yourself confused.
just go on wif the flow my advice.
Hello bro... :P
dalam senyap, dah ada cupcake pulak... :P yahlah, lelaki adalah 'protector' kepada wanita, so we must be able to respect and trust you... :P take care! i saw idaly that day... so when's the next sakura dinner? tukarlah... siam kitchen lak :P
wah... its tough getting everyone to come together... anyway, now that im busy with work.. i find it hard to organise another "pig-out" session.. haha.. how's hadi doing? hope he's all growing and tembam now.. hahaha..
flashbacks seh. ;p
no need for flashbacks lah, just concentrate on the better part of ur life. like... ur cupcake and upcoming graduation. see ya on the 24th of july? ;)
wah, i've got a secret admirer eh.. heheh.. now no longer secret eh... oklah, of course im looking forward to graduation and yeap, definitely im concentarting on cupcake.. and yeap, my grad is on 24th july... see you there, i hope..
As a blog-hop reader, I really like the way you think. Very matured and I guess that's what taught you along the way from the prev experience(s).
=)
Goooo-dddd J-obbbb! (Hancock style)
hey there, not to be rude but just to share. I read your blog and it reminded me of this song by Ella and Korie -"Pergilah Sayang"
listen to it...
yeap... matured or not, i think life is the one that teaches me to think this way..
hang in there, Gaper-Hunter, what doesn't kill only makes you stronger. (to use joker's 'stranger' is too kelakar seram already). also, adam khoo (yes yes sneer all you want) gave this valuable life formula: E + R = O. whatever EVENT that's taken place, it's your RESPONSE which will shape your future OUTCOME. so there. live life to the fullest (which i know you will)!
thanks for the Adam Khoo advise... haha.. now that you've mentioned it, I recall him saying that in one of his lectures... haha.. (yeap, i went for his lectures too, you know)and yeap, I am living my life to the fullest now... just cant stop smiling.. heheh.. happy nye...
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